When did you start having so much control over me? Has ever happened to you that you are just starring at your phone without really being on any app but just looking at it?
I wanted to try and have just one hour during a day without doing anything. Of course, this included not checking on my iPhone. Questions started to arise: How come I am going to be one hour doing nothing? What do I do now? I just felt uncomfortable with the idea of meditating during a whole hour. I am a huge fan of meditation so I said to myself: just breathe, relax and meditate. While I was doing this, the first thing it came up to my mind was to check out my iPhone just to see if I had any notification on social media or any email. My urges started to become more evident. I was just glancing my iPhone as a way of checking any new messages. Suddenly.. Boom! I checked it out and there were 0 new emails, 0 new notifications. And even though I was expecting some new information there, I was relieved that I did not have to reply to anyone because I just felt too tired to do so. I started wondering if this was becoming to be a simple dependency or even worse, how do I know is not becoming an addiction?
Suddenly my mom sent me a text, one part of me tried not to feel anxious about having to read it now, but it was my mom so I could not really resist the temptation and I had to see it. What if she had some good news? What if I was missing out something for not reading it on time? What if it was something regarding her health? My head started to think way too much. And that's when I said: this needs to stop somehow. Now how? If it wasn't Facebook, it was Instagram, and if it wasn't Instagram, it was Twitter, and if not, it was Whatsapp… Did I need to close my accounts? Are we really becoming addicted to be in touch? Do I imagine my life without my iPhone? What are we really missing out when we are not connected on social media? Is really social media helping people to be more connected or is just affecting our mental health?
Every time I see my phone, I feel my phone is talking to me and is saying back to me: I need you to need me. Or I want you to want me. And I want to say back to it: go away and do not come back! But then how come am I going to survive in this world without you? You have my calendar, my phone numbers, my music, my most important notes, etc, etc. You are my connection to my world... There is this idea that I wish I don't need you this much.
This same day after checking out my Twitter account (I just wanted to see any new tweets) I suddenly found some wise words from Dalai Lama. "Whether technology's effect is good or bad depends on the user. It's important that we shouldn't be slaves to technology; it should help us". Funny timing for this post.
